Oga Mark Zuckerberg and the rest of us.

Yesterday we were startled to the news that the number one citizen in Informational Technology visited my beloved country Nigeria. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg visited Nigeria for the first time, where he met with local businesses and developers in an effort to understand how Facebook (FB, Tech30) could “better support tech development and entrepreneurship across Africa,” according to the company.

How can he visit the Giant of Africa without great fanfare and the vocal gymnastics associated when such visits occur in Nigeria? How can he be legally smuggled without the appearing on all national Dallies costing billions of naira to publicize his visit?


How can the 7th richest man in the world grace the Nigerian airport without the sight of long queues of ‘busy’ IT psychopaths who are supposed to be in their offices dressed in Scottish skirts graciously welcoming the IT President?

Someone must bring Mark together! It is totally unacceptable, and to add salt to injury, did I forget to add he simply wore a t shirt, a jean and sneakers and without even an entourage?  You don’t mean it!

Who will dry-clean his t-shirt if it gets soaked by Lagos rain? Who will hold his charger, phone, ear piece, power bank and a spare Sim card incase network fluctuates? Why can’t this man just learn from Nigerians by importing a high powered ‘unofficial delegates’ to make this job easy? Who is he to disregard our long standing religion of charger and power bank carrying aides? Nonsense!

I even heard there was no round table meeting with Nigerian businessmen, imagine, when we have the Alikos’, Elumelu’s, Adenuga’, Ibeto’s, Kalu’s and the unofficial billionaires. No private jets to put all those people buying second hand jets in this country to shame. Bros you fall hand. Big time!  

Why couldn’t he at least make up for the earlier mistake by travelling at least with his whole staff at Facebook headquarters and just program the Facebook Republic on auto run? After all, the world existed without Facebook so importing his staff for few days won’t affect Facebook Republic. Is it a big ask Oga Mark Zuckerberg?

To even think the organizers of his visit are Nigerians is baffling. They are not smart entrepreneurs at all! How can they miss a chance to litter Lagos media space with banners of Oga Mark Zuckerberg? Fail to engage local businessmen to make polo’s and face caps and even unwanted souvenirs just for his visit.


Finally Oga Mark, Stooping so low to meet with a talented Nigerian web application developer Aiyewa Tughu at his office (Genii Games) in Yaba, Lagos to check out his work on animated Series is an ignominy, outright discomfiture and a great contempt on our hard earned megabytes. What happened to various state houses and palaces? I even thought you had taste. SMH…

We expected more, but you came noiselessly and left without ‘selfies’ from the airport with the immigration officials and top functionaries.

We are disappointed, but we hope your next visit will break the internet, create more buzz than the infamous Lagos traffic, and with promises your visit is poised to create 2 billion jobs for every Nigerian and their descendants. We only hope.

Ezera Emetu writes from Facebook Republic.  


5 thoughts on “Oga Mark Zuckerberg and the rest of us.

  1. looooooooooooooooool….The thing shock me ooo…. imagine “money” itself walking on the street without making noise!

  2. hehehehehe. Height of Scarcism. Ezera my dear brother, you should know that Mr. Mark is not like you guys. He’s just a simple guy like me. If you were Mark, i know what you would have done – you would have seized CNN for one month, announcing your coming to Nigeria. And, if you finally arrive Abuja, you will pressurize President Buhari to allow you inspect the guard of honour in State House.

    Effizy dey sweet you die..#tongueout

  3. Excellently written

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